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Invasion of the holiday snatchers (Column No.1471)

Invasion of the holiday snatchers (Column No.1471)

There’s been much debate about the date of Australia Day.

Actually, it’s so much been debate as zombie Liberal and Country Party voters emerging from their cryogenic capsules and the 1950s, stridently declaring “they didn’t do anything wrong so why change the date”.

Political correctness gone mad, they say, like giving women the vote and equal pay and not allowing kids to drive forklifts. Fair enough, what ten-year-old kid doesn’t want to drive a forklift?

Imagine the stuff you could pick up around the house, Mum!

Meanwhile others have distorted reality by claiming that something else happened on 26th January in such and such a year and that is what the date truly signifies, except that rhetoric diminishes the argument of the right-wing nut jobs, as above, who would then be forced to admit that the 26th was in fact quite bad in some way.

Anyway, numerous suggestions have been rejected by white men (remember few women sit in the Right-Wing Nut Job party room), such as moving it to June 3rd, the date back in 1993 when Eddie Mabo, alas posthumously, succeeded in using white man’s law to have those same white men accept that there were people here before Captain Cook, apart from Dirk Hartog.

But that would bump the Queen off her birthday long weekend, even though it’s not her birthday, and rob hard working bludgers a long weekend in January. However surely even low-functioning right-wing nut-jobs could find an alternative excuse for a weekend less than four weeks after the previous one.

Mate, we’re all hanging out for another one by January 26th, and plenty of things have happened on that date since Governor Phil arrived in 1788.

How about John Logie Baird’s first public demonstration of television in 1926? Uber cool. In the true white-man tradition, it could be sponsored, instead of by the Lamb Corporation, say the pay TV industry and call it National Netflix Day for instance. Perfect given that’s what half the nation do on that day, and the 100th anniversary is just four years away, absolute gold…Logie!

But there’s a better solution, which also solves the curly issue of a pesky public holiday on a Wednesday where you have to pay ten-year-old’s time and half. Just make it the last Friday in January unless that day falls on the 26th (remember that’s bad) when it could be bumped to the last Monday.

Solved. Surely that’s worth a case? Perhaps one of these :

Tamar Ridge Tasmania Single Block (Vineyard Kayena - Block K25) Pinot Noir 2020, $100. You reckon winemakers and marketers are getting very specific with their labelling? This one also lists altitude and climatology! You get a diploma in oenology with each glass, which itself passes with flying colours. Very learned and sophisticated. 9.5/10.

Tamar Ridge Tasmania Research Series Pinot Noir 2020, $50. If the Kayena is obsessive, Tamar's 'Research Series' is next level. All the above plus clonal ferments (in detail), average rainfall, and maturation info for good measure. You’ll have a PhD after downing this one, which I reckon has the edge over its exxy sister. Distinction stuff. 9.6/10.

Oakdene Bellarine Peninsula Geelong Sparkling Brut NV, $23. The slight blush of the wine matched that of Ms L’s cheeks after her third (and final) glass, and the colour under her collar that it was finished. Lovely stuff for Invasion Day pool parties. 9.4/10.

Oakdene Bellarine Peninsula Geelong Field Blend (Shiraz/Pinot Noir) 2021, $24. Every man and his dog has a field blend now, although a dog's field blend admittedly may be somewhat different. At 12.8 percent this is nevertheless gutsy enough stuff to go with your Invasion Day lamb at your Triple J hottest 100 lunch. 9.1/10.

Mount Eyre Three Ponds Hunter Valley Semillon 2021, $?? Like the joys of cooler reds in summer, it is easy to forget just how much more flavoursome whites can be at room temperature in winter and spring…depending on where you live of course. 9.4/10.

Mount Eyre Three Ponds Hunter Valley 'Neptune' 2021, $33. You wouldn't drink this at the bottom of the ocean, but maybe sitting on the bottom at the shallow end of the pool listening to JJJ on Invasion Day? Please Sir, I want some more. 9.1/10.

Max Crus is a Clarence Valley-based wine writer and Grape Expectations is now in its 26th year of publication. Find out more about Max or sign up for his weekly reviews and musings by visiting