arrow right black
Reading Mode
close button icon white

Pollies caught with their pants…back to front. (Column No.1453)

Pollies caught with their pants…back to front. (Column No.1453)

Pollies caught with their pants…back to front.

Had to get up early the other day and dressed in the dark.

Of course the inevitable happened, I put my undies on back to front, and immediately thought of Christian Porter and Gladys Berejiklian.

Surely this is how they must feel getting up each day?

More than a little awkward, somewhat uncomfortable, and potentially extremely embarrassed, mindful that anyone looking on was seeing a bit more of an arse.

Having your undies on backwards looks completely ridiculous and no amount of adjusting or entitlement, helps.

There’s likely to be some fall out and the only way out of it is to expose yourself, bare your bum and hope you get it right next time.    

Only then you can spend the rest of your life not having to worry about people talking about you behind your back, which used to be your front, no longer worried that something else is going to come out unexpectedly, and not having to bend over for anyone or worse, bend over backwards which could expose even more dark secrets.

Look, okay, flogging Porter, or the former premier now, is flogging a dead horse, but has there been anything so entertaining since the last ministerial/premier sacking?

Hilariously, the Porter/Blind Trust thing is to be assessed by the Privileges Committee (this is not made up) which will no doubt in short time find that, yes, Porter is, and always has been, privileged.

Equally hilariously, the whole courtroom saga from which it all sprang has merely revealed that Porter had his undies on back to front the whole time which subsequently ensured another episode of Four Corners.

Similarly, poor, much-loved Gladys, who insists now is not the time to investigate corruption, blinded by love and lust, couldn’t see that her boyfriend Daryl had his undies on back to front too, and she’s now been caught up in the fall out, with all the ins and outs about to be exposed, and is now struggling to tell the front from the back of her own undies.

Oh, the ignominy.

Now, what’s a good wine to go with schadenfreude?

Hardys (McLaren Vale) Eileen Hardy Shiraz 2018, $153.99. You might need a blind trust or government grant to afford this and either way it is an awkward price. Impossible to divide by any number let alone two, the ideal number of people to have share this wine. Serious but refined stuff and almost worth $77 each…or $76.99 for the lucky person with the long straw. 9.6/10.

Hardys Yarra Valley/Margaret River Eileen Hardy Chardonnay 2019, $117.99. The two regions from which this springs could hardly be further apart, nor could you hardly find two better places to breed chardonnay. Hardy's have gone to a lot of trouble, hence the price tag, and it shows. Drink slowly. 9.5/10.

Shaw Wines Canberra District Reserve Isabella Riesling 2021, $40. You almost wouldn't touch anything from Canberra these days for fear of being tainted or tarred by a parliamentary brush with shame, but it's easy to block that from your mind with fine riesling, specially after a few glasses. 9.5/10.

Shaw Wines Canberra Winemakers Selection Semillon Sauvignon Blanc 2021, $25. Feel like something light and frivolous after a session before ICAC? What better than an SSB from Canberra where there'll never be an ICAC while Scotty is in charge? 9.1/10.

Charteris Hunter Valley Semillon 2021, $35. Hunter semillon is the Friday night tradie VB of the wine world. Or the bevvy of choice for fake tradies maybe? You can drink a fair whack without being silly, it goes well with most foods, and if you just want to stop and smell the roses at the end of the week, it's pretty good at that too. 9.5/10.

Charteris Hunter Valley Shiraz 2019, $45. This is probably a sensible Friday night shiraz to go with the Friday night semillon, it's only 13.5 per cent, very smart but comparatively mild-mannered, so fewer punch ups at the end of the night. 9.4/10.