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Steam me up, Scotty.

Steam me up, Scotty.

Steam me up, Scotty.

Scotty from Marketing, Scotty, Scotty, Scotty. What the bloody hell were you thinking?

Okay, you don’t have any formal marketing qualifications, so sorry to remind you and renew the ignominy by bringing up the) where the bloody hell are ya thing, but the Chinese threw you a sardine and you swallowed it, sinker and all, like the shark you think you are.

Struth, since when was international diplomacy conducted via Twitter, except when the Trumpster was involved? What the bloody hell were you doing on Twitter anyway?  

The world would be better without Twitter but that gate was left open long ago and that Genie has bolted to mix a gin metaphor.

Some poor, low-ranking, Chinese party hack wound you up, Scotty, and you grabbed his wing-nuts with both hands and helped him.

The Chinese are laughing all the way to the next trade talks now, which are going to be pretty uncomfortable thanks to your entitled ëtantyí, Scotty (from Marketing).

Didn’t your parents tell you that sticks and stones may break your bones but if there ís a buck in them, don’t upset China?

Your reaction was no different to the Islamic reaction to the use of the prophet in cartoons.

The Chinese ëshopí job was an uncomfortable truth, so suck it up Scotty (from Marketing).

As the wise, old GK Chesterton wrote,) a man is angry at a libel because it is false, but angry at a satire because it is true, which you so emphatically showed.

Then to respond like a petulant child on WeChat? WTF? (The modern abbreviation for Watch Your French btw). Clearly your advisers were also having a day off.

The correct response was) Yes, we are embarrassed and ashamed of some soldiers, and we are trying to fix it maybe, but thanks for the reminder. Anyway our Tassie sparkling wine just won best in the world but you can’t afford it now thanks to your tariffs. Stick that in your dumpling and smoke it.

That would have got a few likes on WeChat.

Clandestine Vineyards Geographe (WA) Single Vineyard Tempranillo RosÈ 2020, $30. RosÈ is perfect for Aussie summers, and for Aussies generally, you don't have to make a decision. Red? White? Let's have rosÈ. This'll do nicely thank you. 9.3/10.    

Clandestine Vineyards Margaret River (WA) Single Vineyard Malbec $30. All Clandestine wines are $30, how good is that Scotty? From a marketing point of view, you could learn a lot. 9.1/10.

Bottle Blonde South Eastern Australia Sauvignon Blanc, 2019, $25. It's a bit scary seeing SE Aust. on labels, add a quirky name and pop art poster artwork and you immediately see this as more about marketing than wine, but hey, you get wine too, and it's not bad. 9/10.

Bottle Blonde Victoria Pinot Grigio, 2019, $25. How much you enjoy this wine could depend on whether you treat 'bottle' as a noun or a verb. Even that can be taken two ways, which of course means only one thing. Don't you get that Scotty (from Marketing)? 8.9/10.

Pipers Brook Tasmania Pinot Noir 2018, $50. Sometimes you put off having a pinot until the very last minute and other reds have been exhausted from the cellar, then you have one and think, "why did I put this off for so long"? 9.4/10.

Pipers Brook Tasmania Pinot Meunier 2019, $45. You know instantly it's a pinot but there's more going on here that's attractive and alluring. Not the most attractive girl at the party but definitely the most interesting and looks wear off. 9.5/10.

Grape Expectations by Max Crus (Column No.1407)